The other day, one of my friends was confused as she felt awkward having to help a bride invite people to the bridal shower that weren’t invited to the actual wedding. When she brought this up, I remembered a similar scenario as well where people were invited to the bridal shower but not to the wedding. This got me thinking. Could this be more common than I had imagined especially in the Nigerian community?
I personally think it’s wrong and of poor taste to invite people to the bridal shower and not the wedding as well. That being said, there are certain scenarios whereby this occasion might be the only way such friends can celebrate with the bride. For example, the wedding will be held out of the country, out of state, in court or perhaps it’s a small wedding for immediate family members only. Even in such cases, I feel the bride should let such friends (if they truly are) know. I am sure they’ll understand versus not saying anything about the wedding yet inviting them for the shower.
If a bride doesn’t feel like inviting certain people to the wedding, then she shouldn’t invite them to the shower. After all, if they are not worthy of celebrating your special day with you, why will you want them at your bridal shower? Duh, you want to be “showered” with their gifts.
Whatever the reason maybe for not inviting your bridal shower guests to your wedding, don’t expect such people to show up for the shower. If they do, don’t expect a gift.
To people who have found themselves in this kind of situation of being invited to one but not both events, I’d say accept the fact that you didn’t get invited and decide what’s best for you to do. If you do decide to go to the bridal shower, wish the bride well and forget about it. If you are inquisitive type, you can ask her why you weren’t invited for the wedding (we don’t want a messy confrontation that could ruin the day though), otherwise, just be happy for her and let it go.
Have you found yourself in such a situation where you were invited to the shower but not the wedding? If so, what did you do?
What are your thoughts on this potential new trend?