This post is inspired by what I have witnessed. It really brings me great sadness when I see friends who’ve been together with their partners for years, got engaged and only to call off the engagement due to them not being able to work things out or agree on issues important to them.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s better to know where you stand on things before getting married rather than trying to do so after marriage. Preventing a divorce is definitely better than going through one. With the rate at which people divorce nowadays and the emotional, financial and some times physical costs associated with it, counselors can step in early enough to help ensure you don’t contribute to the growing divorce rate.
Let me start my clearing the misnomer about counseling. It’s NOT just for people with people with problems. Most people grow up with an expectation of what marriage should be, largely influenced by media and what one has witnessed growing up. Prior to marriage, it’s easier to be open about any issues or expectations that might threaten difficulty and with the help of counseling, one can form good habits early on.
Given that most churches or houses of worship require couples to participate in a counseling session before walking down the aisle, it’s evident that someone also sees the value in it. That being said, you don’t have to attend a counseling session at your place of worship. You can also visit marriage and/or family therapist or psychologist to assist you.
Are you still wondering if counseling is for you? Well, here are some advantages:
1) It helps you recognize where you and your partner stand on a variety of topics such as religion, children, finances, personal goals, family goals, and role expectations amongst others
2) It helps in understanding and knowing what you and your partner see as priorities
3) It provides you and your partner with the necessary skills to communicate better and work through problems
4) It could serve as an eye-opener, helping you avoid making a mistake if your partner or marriage is not right for you
Remember to go into counseling with an open mind and be honest about where you stand on issues and how you feel. Good luck!