Ask AANW: Should I leave him and return the ring?

I have a little dilemma. I am 27 and I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years.

Five days ago (my birthday), he comes home with a gift (a nice engagement ring. The box had a note that said “Will you marry me?”). I screamed yes, jumped on him, and the whole nine yards. All the while, he acted shocked.

Rewind to two days later: He tells me that it was a mistake and didn’t want to ruin my birthday by telling me yesterday. According to him, there was a switch up at the jewelry store. He bought me a necklace and they mistakenly gave him the box with the ring. He wants me to give him back the ring to return to the store. Puzzling part is that the note in the box is HIS writing. I confronted him about it and he denies it. I am so confused right now.

Is he cheating on me? Should I return the ring? Or am I just over-reacting?

– ConfusedGirlFriend


Hi ConfusedGirlFriend,
Happy belated birthday! Now to your question…I don’t think you’re over-reacting as the scenario as you describe calls for concern. Your boyfriend should have said something on your birthday and work towards fixing the problem that day. Waiting two days is a little concerning to me but perhaps he needed time to think things through.

Have you guys talked about the future? Perhaps, he bought the ring to propose to you at some point and he couldn’t afford to have his plans destroyed, hence denying it. Or worst case (which I hope is not the case), he plans to propose to someone NOT you.

Easiest way to find out: Play detective. Return the ring to him but follow him to the jewelry store to exchange it for your necklace. There you’ll find all your answers! Just ask the store clerk the right questions.

Whatever the case may be, keep your eyes and ears open. Good luck!

– Ask AANW


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